"Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light."
"'People have forgotten this truth', the fox said. 'But you musn't forget it. You become responsible forever for what you've tamed. You're responsible for your rose.'"
A relationship, they told me. You should be in a relationship.
And many times, this seemed like a good idea.
I’m just your average guy. Not that athletic, but not much of a slacker either. I often do cardio and muscle-pumping twice a week with only a day in between. Maybe I’m that attractive, as former lovers would say, but I place myself below such an idea.
As for focus, well, I’m just working a job that I really love. The job security might not be good, but I’m earning great, and I am not tax-mapped, so I get to keep all my earnings and ensure all my money can grow or be used the way I intend it to be.
In my quarter-life, I’m actually doing pretty good. I have a creative side, making music. Music soothes my soul. It has become an outlet for my emotions, if I had any.
Except existential problems prohibited me from having emotions.
Like the things I read on the internet, I agree that a person is made up of an ego and a calling. I strived to find the balance in both, and right now, I think I’m on the right track.
But maybe I’m a bit too balanced, that it is imbalanced.
Sometimes, I think of myself as a two-bit psycho. Or just someone who just doesn’t want to have emotions because maybe I’m scared of the consequences or I want to achieve many goals I have in mind before I settle down with dealing with emotions. Hey, money can’t buy you happiness, but it could help reduce the emotional troubles I could have especially in a relationship.
Oh women. Many will present themselves to you as independent, achieving-types. Someone similar as you. I’ve had experiences with women. Most of them serious. I could be a serious type of guy. I had fallen in love once, but then I thought to myself if it was really love or a partnership I wanted.
I often think that in a relationship, people have to know each other very well. It is mature to think that true love does not exist. In this particularly cynical view of the fact that love may not exist in two people who are talking about their shortcomings, the acceptance of the negative introduces a paradox that no one is willing to believe in.
I would always take philosophy into perspective. When we both realise that nobody could complete our existence, it is when we become accepting of each other’s existence. When we chase after happiness, happiness gives chase. The more I grew unsatisfied, the more I was likely to be cynical. So, to be satisfied, maybe I was just looking for a partner, not a lover.
A partner is someone who is socially acceptable, someone who understands that to make things work, a team is important. We would become teammates, helping each other deal with life. It is not about making each other feel special, but ensuring each other that we will never be alone cause hey, you don’t have a lover, you have a partner.
I am not a woman-hater. I’m more of someone who had grown hopeless about women who claim they understand this idea, but in the end, only suck the life out of you because they want to feel special.
I won’t be a hypocrite, I want to feel special too. And I know some guys who also want to feel the same way.
Which is why I told myself I would meet that special person only during a time of struggle.
To define the idea of a struggle, it would be when you two share the same kind of pain in life. The best kind of relationship is when you both understand that this pain is never-ending and you know that at any moment, one of you may decide to leave your destination and continue your travel of life.
Like two intersecting lines finally making a parallel exit then travels away from each other.
You may say “hey, you’re just looking for a good time.” No.
Continued at this link
"The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them."
"Don’t attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you’re lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself… know what you want."